Sarin Gets On Your Nerves

Maybe I could just ignore her media presence if it wasn't always something... stupid.

So.  I just saw one of those scrolls across the bottom of the screen on CNN, saying Sarah Palin's lawyers are going to try to get "Sarah Palin" and "Bristol Palin" trademarked.  I don't quite understand.  Are they hoping for revenue from every mention of their names?  That would be a sure way to get their names dropped from network news in a hurry, so I'm in favor of it, really.  -Not to mention how hard I'm going to laugh when "Ms. Constitutional Rights" has her first anti-free-speech lawsuit filed against someone for fair use of the sacred bloody name.

I think we shouldn't wait for all of that.  It's not just that I want to see a bunch of fine work by lawyers wasted.  I'm thinking that after her warm, doctrinaire, self-centered, human response to the Tucson shooting, she could use some pre-emptive re-branding.  -With a nice, public-domain kind of name.  Something from the 1940s.  Something rather beyond conservative.  So please, spread my meme.

Let's call her Sarin.  SAR-ah Pal-IN.  SARIN.  -And yes, I do know that Sarin is a nerve gas originally developed by the Nazis.  Keeps you from drawing air.  If it doesn't kill you, you usually get completely over the effects, although there is a borderline dosage where you get permanent numbness.  Stay with me, here; the parallels are just not that much of a stretch. 

Sarin flows easily into low areas, and can remain a threat for a long time.  Of course, that may describe my neighborhood, so maybe I shouldn't go there.  In 1995, the Aum Shinrikyo cult dumped Sarin (the gas, not the gal) into the Tokyo subways at rush hour, and only got 12 deaths in a city of 12 million.  So there's that comparison; Sarin -- maybe not quite as dangerous as advertised.  Then there's the fact that to be effected, you need either a fair concentration, or a long-term lower dose.  Faux News knows this, so they are going to try to pump Sarin into every room in the country.   -And then, there's that religious connection.  Sarin -- used by religious wack-jobs the world around!   Sarin understands that there are no innocent bystanders, only opportunities.

But you know what my favorite part of this meme is?  We could call her followers "Sarinites", which just doesn't sound wholesome, any way you look at it.  Biblical, maybe, but not wholesome...  You know you wouldn't want your daughter in the clutches of Sarinites.

I've written about the plague of Sarah elsewhere, and so I guess I'd better get all that old stuff out here, so it's ahead of the trademark.  At least then if I have to fill in her name with )!*&$ (!%#@ as if it were porno or something, y'all will know exactly who I'm talking about. 

A trademark.  What's next, a basic patent?   Sarah - patent pending?  That would be one time the patent office should return to their roots, and demand a patent model, just to prove that this amazing new invention actually WORKS.  I'm guessing it would be denied.