So, just yesterday I was looking for news about Libya, and the massacre at Zawiya came up. This was from pro-government mercenaries and other thugs firing artillery into a mosque. I guess using snipers on peaceful demonstrators just wasn't getting it up for them anymore. To be fair, an envoy from Colonel Gaddahfi DID come to town before that, and warned the protesters that if they continued to express an opinion, or failed to bow to his will, that there would be a massacre. So they were warned, which I guess is supposed to make gunning down people in a mosque OK. The mosque was located on Martyr's Square, so there's another public relations triumph for Gaddahfi. Yeah, nobody will make that MARTYR'S SQUARE connection, will they? Of course, that wasn't enough for him, so he had to express condolences to the victim's families, immediately before blaming
them for not controlling their children, and for siding with the rebels. In fact, it turns out that the
entire city of Zawiya was responsible! Yes, if only
they had controlled their children, it wouldn't have been necessary to OPEN UP ON A PLACE OF WORSHIP WITH ARTILLERY!
Interestingly, Moammar blames Osama bin Laden. Now, last I heard, Osama was holed up somewhere near the Afghanistan / Pakistan border, but our own rulers have been telling us about OBL's super-powers for many years now, so I can believe that he reached out from a cave in Afghanistan and controlled the minds of young Libyans. Yes, I'm sure that Osama appeared in the cockpits of those jets, and
psychically forced their pilots to bail out or defect, rather than bombing their own people, as they were ordered to by their Betters. This is the same Osama bin Laden that used his evil magic to completely change the structural strength of steel in the WTC towers, increase the force of gravity in the area, and render a high-tech military and intelligence service blind and deaf, and all from half a world away. So, you understand, Gaddahfi has to be right. He insists that this is all caused by bin Laden. -And we know from Bush the Younger that bin Laden has magic straight from Satan, so we have to believe The Colonel. Yes, it's bin Laden; it couldn't have a single thing to do with unregulated crony capitalism leaving average Libyans impoverished and starving. It couldn't have anything to do with wasting Libya's treasury on foreign mercenaries or domestic thugs. We have some of that here in America, and we're
fine, AREN'T WE?
So it must be Osama bin Laden's mystic Islamofascist mind-control. If it weren't for being tied to dialysis, the man would rule the world by now. I think he can teleport, I do. Why are we even fucking with Osama bin Laden, ever? He makes Magneto look like a punk. But arrayed against him we have a few superheros, mutants with psychic powers, like The Colonel. I'm so glad that our
saintly leaders here in the West have been busy
rehabilitating The Colonel's unjustly tarnished image as a psychotic supporter of terrorists, and a blood-sucking monster on the subject of human rights abuses.
Colonel Gaddahfi knows, for instance, that bin Laden has effected control of Libya's youth through hallucinogenic drugs, introduced into their coffee and milk, “-like Nescafe”...
At last, we see the deadly Nescafe – right-wing Islamist connection! Evil hallucinogens that completely convince the
rightly and properly oppressed to believe that they are being boned by their
benevolent military dictatorship! Hallucinogens that somehow allow those under their influence to act like they are stone cold sober! Hallucinogens that against all rational logic, allow their helpless and deluded victims to protest, organize resistance, set up radio stations, distribute food, medicine, and captured arms, and in short,
think like free people! How is this possible, in a world created
solely for the wealthy?
But the Colonel has enlightened us. What we are seeing is
not a mad government turned cannibal, devouring its own body, no – it is bin Laden! Young people lured into wanting Democracy, and even – Liberty! It's all so clear! Permissive parents! Coffee! Milk! Satan! Nescafe! This is what's destroying Libya!
My only question is, why isn't this guy on Faux News? Does Gaddahfi get points for sounding like the Arab version of Beck, or what? “You see the connections here? We have Western Interference in
this circle,
controlling this much larger circle of those who want a “real vote”, which leads to
starvation in this box here, and over here, we have bin Laden, who controls young people in this circle,
that's your own sons and daughters, and these lines go down here, here, and here to Chaos and Anarchy underneath it all, and here we have my list: Coffee, Italians, Communism, Switzerland, Nescafe. People, you don't need me to connect the dots for you!”
Will somebody get this guy a blackboard? I just feel that if we could all listen to the Colonel, 24/7, that we could finally understand how bad Democracy and Liberty really are, how they interfere with accumulation of insane levels of wealth and power by those who are more
worthy than The People of
any nation. If only I could listen to the Colonel without interruption, I think that all, all, ALL would finally be revealed...